Bird Lovin' and Other Things That Scream Spring

Bird lovin' is in the air. Just outside my window. At 4:30 in the morning.

We have a Boy and a Girl Cardinal in our back yard... and they MUST get together. Seriously, I'm about to set up a Match.com profile for one of them, just to get the ball rolling. Boy Cardinal screams and squawks and flutters around like she's the last Girl Cardinal on the planet. And the Girl Cardinal coyly twitters and giggles in the bows of the overgrown willow tree in our back yard. Flipping her tail feathers, batting her eyelashes, and playing hard to get. I swear... she's been reading too many teenage romance novels.

And Boy Cardinal is chatty. I mean, REALLY freakin' chatty. All day long... starting at the crack of dawn and quiting sometime after the sun goes down. And I'm about to go insane. Think Cathy Bates in Misery, insane. I'm plotting things in my head, that no good human being should be plotting. In might involve BBguns or major explosives... I haven't decided yet. It really just depends on what's legal.

Lack of sleep, has made me a very cranky girl.

But all that's to say, with Spring most certainly in the air... and one more pumpkin recipe to go... I needed a new project (that didn't include the demise of woodland creatures). And so I've started our garden. And I "may" have gone a little overboard. But I have it in my head, that I'm going to CAN this year!

*Hey, wipe that smirk off your face!*

We've been nurturing the compost for a full year now... and have planted every bloomin' seed in northern Missouri... so we feel really equipped. Despite the fact that we can't agree where the garden should go. Or that we lack the tools of harvest. Or canning. Or that, come July, I will despise every livin' minute out in the heat. But otherwise, we're good to go.

I've named that one on the left, Hope... and the one on the right, Promise. Brett has named them Ha, and Ha. We'll see if he gets to eat any of my canned Squash Butter, on those long winter nights...

So, here's to minor strains of botulism and a new lease on my blogging-life.

And in the biggest stretch ever, to relate a recipe to what I've just blogged about... here are Compost Cookies! Now that Christmas, New Years, Earth Day, and Easter are all over with... it's a great way to get rid of all the leftovers. And now that Brett's triglycerides are twice what they should be... it's a good way to get all the junk out of our house.

Here's what you'll need:

1 Cup butter

1 Cup sugar

3/4 Cup light brown sugar

1 Tablespoon corn syrup

1 Teaspoon vanilla

2 Eggs

1 3/4 Cup all purpose flour

2 Teaspoons baking powder

1 Teaspoon baking soda

1 1/2 Cups baking leftovers (I used white chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, toffee pieces, and bittersweet chocolate. I wish I had put some coconut in them.)

1 1/2 Cups snack foods (I used pretzels, almonds, and whoppers. David Lebovitz suggests using potato chips. Your call.)

Cream the sugars and butter together for about 3 minutes. Add the vanilla and eggs, and no joke, cream those guys for 10 minutes. I literally ran an errand while they were creaming. Add the flour, soda and powder and just barely incorporate. Fold in all the goodies.

Refrigerate the whole mess for at least 1 hour (and up to, a week). Preheat oven to 400*. Ball and bake for 7-10 minutes. Cool completely on the pan, before removing them.

They were okay... they're flat, chewy little things, with lots of stuff. I don't really ask for much, when it comes to my cookies... sugar cookies with a little icing are money for me... so these were a little over the top. I'd give them a B. Good enough to give to someone you're trying to impress, but maybe not so good, that there'll be any expectations later.

May you find love this beautiful Spring day... just please... don't do it outside my bedroom window.

Day 29: Hot Cross Pumpkin Buns

Hot cross buns.

Have you ever wondered why they're so mad? What's got them so grumpy on Easter morn? Is it the empty tomb? The rude gardener? The darn Disciples that won't listen?

Maybe it's more secular than that. Maybe they just didn't get the kind of Easter basket at the end of their bed, that they expected. That's understandable. Buns have high expectations these days.

Regardless, I always sort of picture Hot Cross Buns looking like this:

Only maybe less cute, and a little more sinister.

Anyway, I took a pretty basic Hot Cross Bun recipe and added some pumpkin. We're not huge fans of cooked raisins around here, so I used dried cranberries where raisins would usually go. Maybe that's what made them so cross.

Geeze. Get over it, buns.

Here's what you'll need:
1 cup warm milk (105°--115°F.)
5 teaspoons active dry yeast
1/2 cup plus 1 teaspoon granulated sugar
4 cups bread flour
1 teaspoons ground allspice
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/4 sticks cold,unsalted butter
2 large eggs
1 large egg yolk
1/4 cup pumpkin puree
3/4 cup dried cranberries, raisins, currants, or cherries (it's a "choose you're own adventure!" but then, so is most of what I cook)
3 tablespoons superfine granulated sugar

Icing
1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
2 lb. powdered sugar
Milk
Vanilla

In a small bowl stir together milk, yeast, and 1 teaspoon granulated sugar. Let mixture stand 5 minutes (it'll foam and seethe and throw a fit so you'll know when it's done).

In a large bowl sift together flour, allspice, cinnamon, salt, and remaining 1/2 cup granulated sugar. Cut butter into bits and with your fingertips or a pastry blender blend into flour mixture until mixture resembles coarse meal. Lightly beat 1 whole egg with egg yolk. Make a well in center of flour mixture and pour in yeast and egg mixtures, pumpkin, and dried fruit. Stir mixture until a dough is formed. If it gives you any attitude... as is the tendency of a cross bun... just keep stirin'. That bun'll get the message. Transfer dough to a floured surface and with floured hands knead until smooth and elastic, about 10 minutes. Transfer dough to an oiled large bowl and turn to coat. Let dough rise, covered with plastic wrap, in a warm place until doubled in bulk, about 1 1/2 hours.

Preheat your oven to 375*. Butter 2 large baking sheets or muffin pans.

On a floured surface with floured hands knead dough briefly and form into two 12-inch-long logs. Cut each log crosswise into 12 equal pieces. Form each piece into a ball and arrange about 1 1/2 inches apart on baking sheets. Let buns rise, covered, in a warm place until doubled in bulk, about 45 minutes.

Using kitchen shears, or scissors, snip a cross in the center of each roll. This is where you'll add the icing after the buns are baked.

While buns are rising, lightly beat remaining egg with superfine sugar to make an egg glaze. Brush buns with egg glaze and sprinkle with the superfine sugar. Bake buns until golden, about 12-15 minutes.

To make the icing: using a mixer, beat the butter until light and fluffy, and then add the powdered sugar. Add enough milk to make a thick icing. Flavor with a good quality vanilla.

With all the work you just put into making those buns, you'd think they might be a little more gracious.

Turns out, I'm not a huge Hot Cross Bun fan... all that negativity gets to me. And these take loads of effort... and if you read my last post, you'll know, I'm not so much into the "effort" these days. So I give these a C.

Heaven help us all... that won't help the attitude.

Day 28: Pumpkin in the Face

OMG. LOL.

(Thought about writing the whole post in those absurdly annoying text-isms... but the above, is the extent of my knowledge. It just goes to show, I'm not 16. Try as I might to cover this slight patch of grey hair on my temple, or reduce the appearance of those pesky fine lines, I am unable to hide my age... or wisdom. Yeah. Wisdom. We'll go with that.)

So, I'm running low on punkin' recipes that appeal to me. One of three things happen now, when I look at a recipe:

1. It sounds too hard. These days, if it has more than five ingredients or three lines of instructions, I'm hard pressed to follow through. That's because... I'm hard pressed.

2. It includes the ingredients ginger, cinnamon, or cloves. In November, these spices were welcoming the promise of winter nights, roaring fires, and new knit gloves. In April, the novelty of of those scents (and the winters nights) has worn off. And I'm now, anti-ginger. (I'm sorry... I feel bad. I really do. In real life, I'm a pretty inclusive gal.)

3. I actually gain weight, when I look at the recipe.

So, I decided to do something totally different and make a pumpkin face mask!!!

This is me... (you may want to ask the children to leave the room; it's scary and might induce nightmares.)

Here's what you'll need, so that you too, can have a goofy grin on your face:

2 Teaspoons of pumpkin puree 1/2 Teaspoon honey 1/4 Teaspoon milk

Blend all these ingredients together and apply to your face in a circular motion. Allow mask to dry on your face for 10-15 minutes. Rinse with warm water, pat your face dry, and follow up with your favorite moisturizer.

I found this "recipe" at sustainlane.com... a nifty little site full of sustainability hints and suggestions.

So, as it turns out, I don't really enjoy having food on my face... especially drippy, sort of sticky, slimy food. I generally leave that to my husband, who seemingly, can not eat a meal without saving some for later, in his goatee. And I'd like to be able to tell you that I have found the skin of my youth... but that'd be a lie. And apparently, folks frown on that sort of thing. So I'd give this a solid B... if you've got a day off, and wanna make a mess... this is the recipe for you! Maybe you'll feel like you're 16 again and invite me over for a slumber party. I'll bring my acid-wash jeans, Reebok high-tops, and Aqua-net hairspray...and we can go hang out at the mall for like, ever.

Take your "LOMA" and your "LEMENO" and shove it. We knew how to party.

Sugar Free Madness

I’ve done it. I’m sugar free.

Please ignore the insane sweating, grumpiness, and ever-so-subtle hand tremor. It’s like I’m kickin’ crack, over here. Not that I’ve ever had to kick crack. Really. Mom… you can breath again.

But I do have a serious addiction to sugar. My roommate from seminary used to threaten to buy me a sugar-lick for my Birthday. Don’t judge her; she couldn’t help it. She’s from Illinois. The only reference points she had in life, were corn and deer. (Yes, that’s deer. Not beer. Though, she probably knows a good lot about that too.) Anyway… that was ten years ago.

Today, I haven’t moved much beyond gummy bears. And jelly beans. And skittles. Oh, and smarties. Can’t forget how much I love Smarties. *sigh*

Chocolate is nice, but cake is better. Cake with frosting. Buttercream or creamcheese – it absolutely, doesn't matter.

And I always need ice cream. NEED. LIKE ALL CAPS, KIND OF NEED.

I can admit it now... things had really gotten out of hand.

My name is Trish, and I have a problem.

So “for Lent,” I gave up processed sugar. Which is hard. It’s the kind of hard, that makes a girl wanna curl up in the fetal position and sleep for days. Or cry. Or chew my nails. I don’t chew my nails, by the way. Too many germs. But I’m tempted… and that’s how hard it is. Or was. It's not so bad now.

Now I’ve only got three more days to go on my sugar-free journey (cause heaven forbid, I should continue on this Lent-induced health kick) and a small bowl of pumpkin puree left.













This small bowl of puree, is being saved. Saved for the most beautiful cake in the world, which I plan to make, for Easter Sunday (when the sugar free madness comes to an end).

So hang tight Pumpkin Lovers. And may this final week of Lent, be Holy and Blessed.

Change is A'Comin'

Welp, Spring is officially here.

You might ask how I know this, given that the meteorological date is still two weeks away.... so lets play a little game. You choose the answer which might best describe how it is, that I know that Spring, has sprung.

A. The beautiful, glorious "first sign" of budding... on the trees and in the ground.














(Photo by J. Colman)

B. The promise of new life... announcements from dear friends of babies due, wedding bells in the air, farmers inspecting their fields, and birds carrying bits to build comfy nests.














(Photo by Uncle Phooey)

C. The clip in everyones' step, the dusting off of golf clubs and running shoes, the shedding of scarves and mittens, and the smell of wet dirt and dry seeds.














(Photo by DJ Bass)

OR

D. My neighbors. Yep. There they sit in their driveway... lounging in their popasans, propping their feet up on coolers, filled with beer. (I figured it might be in poor taste, to actually take their picture without their permission...so instead, I found this guys picture on the web without any photo credit, so we'll call it good enough. I think you get the idea, right?)














Yes, this is Belton, Missouri, folks. I'm so proud.

Publicly embarrassed for this blatant display of redneckness... but secretly disappointed that they've never once, invited me over. *sigh*

It's not like I'd come empty handed... I'd bring the wine coolers. My LazyBoy would be a pain to drag out there, but I'd find a way to get it done.

Anyway, all that's to say, is that spring is a time for change and newness of life... and probably means that the pumpkin is going to need to come to an end. So, I'm thinking....

Any ideas?

Day 26 and Day 27: Pumpkin Cornbread and Pumpkin Chili

I think I love you.

(Channeling the Partridge Family...)

This morning,
I woke up with this feeling,
I didn't know how to deal with....

So, I made Pumpkin Cornbread with Pumpkin Chili. Comfort food. Love that feeling of warmth and fullness, food. I heart food. Probably not the healthiest sentiment. Oh well. Happy valentiney food.

Here's what you'll need for the Cornbread (via therecipegirl.blogspot.com):

1/2 Cup ap flour
1/2 Cup whole wheat flour
1 Tablespoon baking powder
1/2 Teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 Teaspoon nutmeg
1 Cup cornmeal
2 Eggs
1 Cup pumpkin puree
2/3 Cup brown sugar
1/4 Cup veggie oil
1 Tablespoon molasses

Preheat your oven to 400* and butter a 9 inch pan. Sift together the flours, baking powder, cornmeal, and spices. In another bowl, whisk together the eggs, sugar, oil and molasses. Make a well in your dry ingredients and pour the wet ones, into the well. Mix lightly (like Jiffy, don't overmix) and transfer to your greased pan. Cook for about 30 minutes. Serve warm and with a bit of honey butter.

And here's what you'll need for the Chili:

1 Pound ground turkey
1 Small onion, chopped
1 Clove garlic, minced
2 Cans diced tomatoes
1 Can kidney or black beans
1 Cup pumpkin puree
1 Tablespoon chili powder, or to taste
1 Teaspoon cumin, or to taste
1 or 2 Chipotle peppers
Black Pepper

Cook the ground turkey, onion, and garlic together to brown the meat. If you used the turkey, there shouldn't be much fat to skim off, but if there is, go ahead and drain the meat/onion mixture. Return the pan to the heat and add your 'maters, beans, spices, and puree. Mix well and let simmer on low for about 20-30 minutes. Serve with sour cream and cheese. Wintery, comforty food at it's best.

And now, let's all sing along... I think I love you!

(You KNOW you know the words. Come on!)

Heeeeeeeeey, I think I love you...
So what am I so afraid of...

If you're terrified of singing (like I am) maybe it'll help to have David as you're back up...

Well, at the end of the day, the cornbread gets a C+ from Brett and a C- from me (I am a serious Jiffy fan)... but the chili made up for it! I think I love it... *unabashed head bopping*

Day 25: Pumpkin Fondue

So the Super Bowl came and went. Yeah Saints. Good for you. (Oh, the enthusiasm.)

To be fair, I think watching a bunch of men wearing tights while hitting each other and making a few million dollars a day to PLAY A GAME... isn't really up my alley. Maybe I'm bitter. Maybe if I was making a million dollars a day, I too, would be inclined to wear tights in public. Heck, I might even slap a few of my clergy-friends on the hiney for good measure. Good sermon, Don. *slap* Splendid baptism, Susan. *slap* Bangin' choir anthem this mornin', Bill! *slap* I don't know... maybe it loses something, off the field?

But what I DO enjoy? THE OLYMPICS!!!! Winter, summer... doesn't much matter. The Olympics are about everyday folks (and yes, "highly over-paid, sponsored out the wazoo" American and European athletes included) loving the idea of their sport SO much that they want to share it with the world. THIS I love.

I really admire (and might just have a teeny tiny crush on) the likes of snowboarder Shaun White, who, during the XGames, hit his head on the edge of the platform so hard, that it knocked his helmet off! The redheaded phenom, was up and running the halfpipe three hours later and went on to claim the Gold Medal.

Once, I hit my hand super hard on a door knob as I was running up the stairs. (Yeah, you read that right. I was going up the stairs. Not my finest moment.) I'm pretty sure I broke my pinkie. I was out for three weeks while that thing healed. To this day, it still aches when it's cold or rainy. Maybe... just maybe... the Olympics aren't for me.

I digress. To make a long story short... every two years, Brett and I celebrate the start of the Olympic games by throwing a fondue party (the lighting of the Olympic flame, serving as our inspiration). I figured this year I'd throw together some pumpkin fondue, and see how it went over...




















What you'll need:
2 Cups guryere cheese
2 Cups emmetal cheese
1 Cup chicken broth
1/2-3/4 Cup heavy cream
3/4 Cup pumpkin puree
1/4 Teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 Teaspoon pepper

Bring the chicken broth, cream, and spices to a boil, then reduce to simmer. Add your cheese, a bit at a time, and whisk until smooth.

It was good, but a little bland for my taste. If I had to do it over again, I'd probably add more nutmeg, a bit of salt, and a 1/2 cup white wine.

Overall, I think folks would give this a B-. It's didn't exactly get gobbled up. Oh well. It was an experiment.

Now, you'll have to excuse me. The United States Curling Team needs me... which means I'll be icing down my pinkie for the next couple of hours.

Enjoy the Olympics!